“It’s not just what you say. It’s also how you say it.”
Communication between adolescents and parents is one of the most difficult things in the realm of family relationships. Adolescents in the teen stage begin to explore and experiment with their own identities, and that can sometimes cause a shift in the parent-adolescent relationship.
Many times, parents don’t know how to communicate with their children because they are no longer the young child that they knew. Adolescents want to be their own person and make their own independent decisions, which cause conflict in their relationships – especially with parents. The emotions and thoughts that are going through teens’ minds are not what the parents see but their actions (i.e. behaviours) which sometimes causes conflict at many levels. A parents’ ability to positively communicate with their teen can have a long lasting effect when it comes to having a good relationship.
The safety of your kids lies in having access to your thoughts and values. They need to be able to express their doubts, confide their fears and explore options with you and you should listen to them non-judgementally and help them make responsible decisions.
There are no quick fixes when it comes to your kids, but if you can create the kind of climate in your home where your kids feel free to express their feelings, there is a good chance that they would be more open to hear your feelings and more willing consider your perspective.
In your normal day to day conversations, you blame them and accuse them, call them names, insult them, give them long lectures, you become sarcastic and so many more things. You talk to them in a way that you would never even dream of doing with a friend or colleague of yours.
When your children don’t feel comfortable sharing small things because of the way you react, the probability of them sharing anything important with you is next to impossible.
Some topics we cover in our module on “Communicating with Teenagers:
- Importance of right communication
- The mistakes that we do in communication
- How to communicate the right way
- Step by step solutions for tough situations
